Sad to see my vacation come to a end.
It's been a nice, relaxing week and a half off. Stopped in today to grab some files, ghost town.
It's going to be supremely busy year, but a great one.
How do I know?
It's all about attitude :-)
Ruminations from the pit of the nation...one bite at a time.
Monday, December 30, 2013
Monday, December 9, 2013
Musings on One Direction
I'm watching SNL as I get ready for work. One Direction is the musical guest.
I've never listened to their music nor do I know anything about them except for there's a boy named Harry Styles who my friend's son used to have hair like, apparently. Thankfully, no one compares my friend's son to Harry since he got a haircut. Read on...
-Harry Styles has the worst hair of any musician I've ever seen. Worse than Nelson. Worse than Cyndi Lauper. Worse than any look Tilda Swinton sported in any indie movie. Contrary to the name of the band, his hair goes every direction and then some. Harry looks like he's auditioning for the new Beethoven movie. Comb your hair, sir. Better yet, shave it off in case some woodland creature has made it's home in there...
-Dirty Boy: not sure what his name is, but he has a toddler of mustache, three-day adult facial growth and greezy looking locks like Kevin Bacon did in the 80s. He also is wearing a scoop neck t-shirt and you can see some tattoo peeking out, which made it feel like he was trying too hard. Love me some tats, but mister you look contagious.
-Mr. Neato: this guy has a perfectly coiffed head of hair, symmetrical features and resembles either of the two members of Color Me Badd who could've been twins for their Ken-like appearances. Decent voice, solid stage presence but doesn't stand out. Bet he smells like starch and Ivory soap.
-JT Wannabe: blondie has a good voice and some panache when it comes to performing, cute like a high school glee club front runner. I like him.
-Stiffy Mockneck: he made me uncomfortable with his uncomfortableness. He barely moved around, his voice wasn't strong, and it felt like maybe the producers or label of the group decided there wasn't enough diversity and they threw him in there to represent. I get the feeling he's searching for his "thing" and I hope he finds it. He came across as sweet and hopeful, and I'm hopeful he finds his light and lets it shine.
I've never listened to their music nor do I know anything about them except for there's a boy named Harry Styles who my friend's son used to have hair like, apparently. Thankfully, no one compares my friend's son to Harry since he got a haircut. Read on...
-Harry Styles has the worst hair of any musician I've ever seen. Worse than Nelson. Worse than Cyndi Lauper. Worse than any look Tilda Swinton sported in any indie movie. Contrary to the name of the band, his hair goes every direction and then some. Harry looks like he's auditioning for the new Beethoven movie. Comb your hair, sir. Better yet, shave it off in case some woodland creature has made it's home in there...
-Dirty Boy: not sure what his name is, but he has a toddler of mustache, three-day adult facial growth and greezy looking locks like Kevin Bacon did in the 80s. He also is wearing a scoop neck t-shirt and you can see some tattoo peeking out, which made it feel like he was trying too hard. Love me some tats, but mister you look contagious.
-Mr. Neato: this guy has a perfectly coiffed head of hair, symmetrical features and resembles either of the two members of Color Me Badd who could've been twins for their Ken-like appearances. Decent voice, solid stage presence but doesn't stand out. Bet he smells like starch and Ivory soap.
-JT Wannabe: blondie has a good voice and some panache when it comes to performing, cute like a high school glee club front runner. I like him.
-Stiffy Mockneck: he made me uncomfortable with his uncomfortableness. He barely moved around, his voice wasn't strong, and it felt like maybe the producers or label of the group decided there wasn't enough diversity and they threw him in there to represent. I get the feeling he's searching for his "thing" and I hope he finds it. He came across as sweet and hopeful, and I'm hopeful he finds his light and lets it shine.
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Brene Brown - words of wisdom
I watched a TED Talk this weekend featuring Brene Brown, and so much of what she said is what I believe in, but hearing it put so thoughtfully and elegantly really made it all hit home. It sunk in, deeply. Here goes...
Believe you're worthy of love and belonging.
The commonalities of this include wholeheartedness, have a sense of courage (telling who you are with your whole heart); treat yourself with compassion.
The result will be authenticity. Your authenticity.
Also, be willing to embrace your vulnerability.
You can't numb the bad stuff - fear, pain - without numbing the other affects like joy, happiness, love.
We are imperfect and wired for struggle but we are worthy of love and affection.
Be authentic and real. How?
1. Let ourselves be deeply seen
2. Love with our whole hearts
3. Practice gratitude and joy
4. Realize that we are enough.
Doing this will make us kinder and gentler.
Believe you're worthy of love and belonging.
The commonalities of this include wholeheartedness, have a sense of courage (telling who you are with your whole heart); treat yourself with compassion.
The result will be authenticity. Your authenticity.
Also, be willing to embrace your vulnerability.
You can't numb the bad stuff - fear, pain - without numbing the other affects like joy, happiness, love.
We are imperfect and wired for struggle but we are worthy of love and affection.
Be authentic and real. How?
1. Let ourselves be deeply seen
2. Love with our whole hearts
3. Practice gratitude and joy
4. Realize that we are enough.
Doing this will make us kinder and gentler.
Monday, December 2, 2013
Friday, November 29, 2013
Gratitude
The holiday and vacation have been wonderful thus far.
I'm blessed to have an amazing family, and friends I can call family as well. Being able to share time with these people who accept you as you are, want only good things for you and would do anything to see you smile, and for whom you feel the same way, is a blessing.
Two more days left, going to make them count.
I'm blessed to have an amazing family, and friends I can call family as well. Being able to share time with these people who accept you as you are, want only good things for you and would do anything to see you smile, and for whom you feel the same way, is a blessing.
Two more days left, going to make them count.
Friday, November 22, 2013
Obs
Sometimes people show their true colors in very subtle ways, like a watercolor, and you miss it.
But other times they show their colors like a full-blown 10-story building covered in graffiti, and that is hard to miss.
But other times they show their colors like a full-blown 10-story building covered in graffiti, and that is hard to miss.
Monday, November 18, 2013
Friends
I have great friends.
Some I have known for 25 years. Some I have known for less than one.
All are integral to my well-being, and I hope I am there for them in that way as well.
They constantly amaze me with their compassion, their understanding and acceptance. Their wisdom, humor and wit keep me grounded, safe and happy.
If there's one thing I excel at, it's picking kick ass friends.
I'm damn lucky. Damn lucky.
Some I have known for 25 years. Some I have known for less than one.
All are integral to my well-being, and I hope I am there for them in that way as well.
They constantly amaze me with their compassion, their understanding and acceptance. Their wisdom, humor and wit keep me grounded, safe and happy.
If there's one thing I excel at, it's picking kick ass friends.
I'm damn lucky. Damn lucky.
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Surprises
Today was a really good day. Kind of unexpected given recent circumstances, but everything fell into place.
Thankful for surprises such as this.
Thankful for surprises such as this.
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Well
As my friend Scott so elegantly put it, everything happens for a reason.
I believe this also. The reason may not present itself for a long time, but it eventually does.
But in the moment, like three weeks ago when I was told Arthur was gone, and even now, there's no reason I can think of that he had to leave this world in that way.
Maybe to make me realize what he meant to me? I always knew that, didn't need any kind of reminder.
I believe this also. The reason may not present itself for a long time, but it eventually does.
But in the moment, like three weeks ago when I was told Arthur was gone, and even now, there's no reason I can think of that he had to leave this world in that way.
Maybe to make me realize what he meant to me? I always knew that, didn't need any kind of reminder.
Friday, November 15, 2013
Wow
Amazing night. Just got home. Three hours til my morning run.
Run, schmun. i got this.
Tired face, scratchy voice and excessive yawns are inevitable, but worth every minute.
Run, schmun. i got this.
Tired face, scratchy voice and excessive yawns are inevitable, but worth every minute.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
What's up, doc
Let me start by saying that the BJH Breast Health Center is a top-notch facility. Efficiency, intelligence and kindness overflow from the folks who work there, from the administration to the docs.
Constant, light pain is what prompted me to see them. For three months my right nipple has been sore. I made an appt to see my OB/GYN and while everything looked okay from the outside, she said I needed to get a mammogram and ultrasound ASAP to rule anything out.
The Breast Health Center got me in the very next day (today).
Last night I wasn't sweating the situation, but this morning was a whole different story. Everything I saw and heard, every corner I turned I connected with bad news/breast cancer/death. I think this is a normal reaction to anyone who feels as if they're about to face their mortality head-on.
They started with a bi-lateral mammogram, which didn't hurt at all, just mild discomfort. They then told me to sit in the waiting room while the radiologist viewed the pics. After about 10 minutes they called me back in for a whole new set of very painful squish pics of just my right breast - seven in all. Ouch!! That smarted for awhile, and got me thinking that having a second round wasn't a good sign.
Then they brought me in for an ultrasound, which was done by a resident. Light pressure, easy peasy, he said he didn't see anything but some asymmetry in the glands. He went and got the main physician, who used a lot of pressure for quite a while, going over and over the same area. She called another doc in to look, and then they left the room.
A couple minutes later the resident came in to tell me that they saw some asymmetry in the glands in the right breast, but nothing that looks bad. Since I don't know my family history or have any previous tests to use as a baseline, they want me back in six months for another diagnostic mamm and ultrasound to rule anything out. If the nipple pain gets worse or I see any discharge, skin changes or feel any difference (lumps) in the next six months, they told me to come back in before my appt.
So it would seem I have been given a reprieve - a free six-month pass.
I'll take it.
I'm glad I went in, as scary as the whole experience was. Better to know than not, right?
Now time to get busy fulfilling some promises I made to others and to myself over the last 24 hours while waiting for this experience to be over.
Constant, light pain is what prompted me to see them. For three months my right nipple has been sore. I made an appt to see my OB/GYN and while everything looked okay from the outside, she said I needed to get a mammogram and ultrasound ASAP to rule anything out.
The Breast Health Center got me in the very next day (today).
Last night I wasn't sweating the situation, but this morning was a whole different story. Everything I saw and heard, every corner I turned I connected with bad news/breast cancer/death. I think this is a normal reaction to anyone who feels as if they're about to face their mortality head-on.
They started with a bi-lateral mammogram, which didn't hurt at all, just mild discomfort. They then told me to sit in the waiting room while the radiologist viewed the pics. After about 10 minutes they called me back in for a whole new set of very painful squish pics of just my right breast - seven in all. Ouch!! That smarted for awhile, and got me thinking that having a second round wasn't a good sign.
Then they brought me in for an ultrasound, which was done by a resident. Light pressure, easy peasy, he said he didn't see anything but some asymmetry in the glands. He went and got the main physician, who used a lot of pressure for quite a while, going over and over the same area. She called another doc in to look, and then they left the room.
A couple minutes later the resident came in to tell me that they saw some asymmetry in the glands in the right breast, but nothing that looks bad. Since I don't know my family history or have any previous tests to use as a baseline, they want me back in six months for another diagnostic mamm and ultrasound to rule anything out. If the nipple pain gets worse or I see any discharge, skin changes or feel any difference (lumps) in the next six months, they told me to come back in before my appt.
So it would seem I have been given a reprieve - a free six-month pass.
I'll take it.
I'm glad I went in, as scary as the whole experience was. Better to know than not, right?
Now time to get busy fulfilling some promises I made to others and to myself over the last 24 hours while waiting for this experience to be over.
Friday, November 1, 2013
Random thoughts for a cool Friday afternoon
Confidence is a huge turn on.
Lack of confidence elicits the opposite feeling.
Also, timing is everything.
Finally, I miss my friend Arthur. It's been a week, but the sadness and anger are still there.
Friday, October 25, 2013
Bad Day
Extenuating circumstances or not, when someone close to you takes their own life, it's natural to feel sad, and also a little (or a lot) angry.
I'm angry at the circumstances. His actions were brought on by a bad reaction to new medication his physician recently put him on. He had a four year old daughter whom he lived for, and would have never done what he did yesterday had he not been reacting to the meds. He lived his life with purpose, and walked and talked that purpose. And it took less than a week on this particular medication to alter his outlook and his reality to the point where he decided it would be better to end his life than feel so helpless. It tears me up to think of the pain he must have been in to have thought this was the only way out.
I don't know every detail of what went down yesterday morning and don't want to. The more I know, the more I'd play the "why didn't I/someone" game in my head and that's no good for anyone. And I just don't want to know because I hate to think of how he might have been feeling or what his actions were leading up to the end. It would be more than I can handle right now.
What I know is that it all happened very fast. When I got the first call about the events playing out, I was on my way to work. It sounded like everything that could be done was being done, help was on the way. When I got the second call less than two minutes later, I was relieved thinking it would be good news, because you want to pass on the good news quickly, and wait on the bad...right? It wasn't good news, and I wasn't prepared.
I'm so thankful I made it to Memphis last weekend. That small detail makes this whole thing a little less devastating.
As his brother so eloquently said, "Apparently the strong ones, the ones you never see fall - pay attention, the merest whisper for help needs to be interpreted as a scream. Pay attention to the ones you love. Take nothing for granted."
We lost a wonderful friend, father, son, brother, uncle and champion yesterday. Arthur was a bright, warm and funny man and I'm lucky to have had him in my life for as long as I did. I miss him very much.
I'm angry at the circumstances. His actions were brought on by a bad reaction to new medication his physician recently put him on. He had a four year old daughter whom he lived for, and would have never done what he did yesterday had he not been reacting to the meds. He lived his life with purpose, and walked and talked that purpose. And it took less than a week on this particular medication to alter his outlook and his reality to the point where he decided it would be better to end his life than feel so helpless. It tears me up to think of the pain he must have been in to have thought this was the only way out.
I don't know every detail of what went down yesterday morning and don't want to. The more I know, the more I'd play the "why didn't I/someone" game in my head and that's no good for anyone. And I just don't want to know because I hate to think of how he might have been feeling or what his actions were leading up to the end. It would be more than I can handle right now.
What I know is that it all happened very fast. When I got the first call about the events playing out, I was on my way to work. It sounded like everything that could be done was being done, help was on the way. When I got the second call less than two minutes later, I was relieved thinking it would be good news, because you want to pass on the good news quickly, and wait on the bad...right? It wasn't good news, and I wasn't prepared.
I'm so thankful I made it to Memphis last weekend. That small detail makes this whole thing a little less devastating.
As his brother so eloquently said, "Apparently the strong ones, the ones you never see fall - pay attention, the merest whisper for help needs to be interpreted as a scream. Pay attention to the ones you love. Take nothing for granted."
We lost a wonderful friend, father, son, brother, uncle and champion yesterday. Arthur was a bright, warm and funny man and I'm lucky to have had him in my life for as long as I did. I miss him very much.
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Southern Hospitality
Another long weekend in Memphis.
Explored Midtown, went to our favorite dive The Cove, and hunted down a bottle of Stone Woot Stout for B.
Nice to get away, but happy to be home.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Tick, tick, tick...
I can understand why some people are wary of a woman leading the country.
I was so supremely crabby today, I couldn't tolerate anything. Imagine if I had access to "the button"...
Ka. Boom.
The predictability of this ferocious feminine cycle is a bonus. 21 days of calm enlightenment, three days of eating everything in sight like a starving Tom Hanks rescued in Castaway, an entire 24-hours of hating every person in my presence, and four days of wishing I could stay in a hut.
Bring on the hut...
I was so supremely crabby today, I couldn't tolerate anything. Imagine if I had access to "the button"...
Ka. Boom.
The predictability of this ferocious feminine cycle is a bonus. 21 days of calm enlightenment, three days of eating everything in sight like a starving Tom Hanks rescued in Castaway, an entire 24-hours of hating every person in my presence, and four days of wishing I could stay in a hut.
Bring on the hut...
Monday, September 23, 2013
Randomness
Saw Argo. Meh. I despise 1970's "fashion" so it's difficult for me to see through to the plot.
Saw Insidious 2. Outstanding. Well worth sitting through a sequel.
Rediscovered Sunny Day Real Estate. Makes life better.
Recently discovered Passenger, J. Roddy Walston & The Business, and Martin Sexton. Good stuff.
I appreciate kind & genuine people who "go there"...by letting people in, you create authentic connection.
I am having a real epiphany regarding meat and processed food. Can't really do it any longer without feeling like I'm being poisoned. I'm very happy with my free-range eggs, greens, granola and fruits. Oh, and cheese here and there.
Had a bad case of DOMS last week, mainly biceps. Days of pain. Not cool, arms. Not cool.
I'm feeling more comfortable in my skin and with who I am more than ever before. I like the added confidence this brings about.
Yoga is more beneficial than I ever thought it could be. Same goes for running.
38 days to Halloween. Yes.
Saw Insidious 2. Outstanding. Well worth sitting through a sequel.
Rediscovered Sunny Day Real Estate. Makes life better.
Recently discovered Passenger, J. Roddy Walston & The Business, and Martin Sexton. Good stuff.
I appreciate kind & genuine people who "go there"...by letting people in, you create authentic connection.
I am having a real epiphany regarding meat and processed food. Can't really do it any longer without feeling like I'm being poisoned. I'm very happy with my free-range eggs, greens, granola and fruits. Oh, and cheese here and there.
Had a bad case of DOMS last week, mainly biceps. Days of pain. Not cool, arms. Not cool.
I'm feeling more comfortable in my skin and with who I am more than ever before. I like the added confidence this brings about.
Yoga is more beneficial than I ever thought it could be. Same goes for running.
38 days to Halloween. Yes.
Dexter
I went through multiple years of really good, decent and lame storylines to sit through the worst series finale in cable television history?
Suck.
Happy Monday. Bah.
Suck.
Happy Monday. Bah.
Monday, September 16, 2013
Things I like. Things I don't.
I like:
Running at night.
That Capt. Kirk (Chris Pine) appears to have died in the new Star Trek move. I'm not through watching it, but I'm going to assume they will use Khan's cells to regenerate him. Dammit.
Eating clean.
Super soft t-shirts.
Cut off jean shorts.
My hair in 2010.
Benedict Cumberbatch.
British dramas.
Snugglin.
Fall.
Things I don't like:
Chris Pine's eyebrows.
The new Star Trek movie. Boring.
Bad kissers.
Mondays.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Decisions...
Got home from a delightful run, decided to flip through channels after shower.
The Shining is on.
Yessss.
Excellent movie. Very slow, but atmospheric and creepy and highly original.
It's the part where Olive Oil is trapped in the bathroom - classic scene. Her face is just so damn comical, I find it difficult taking her seriously.
Scatman is going to get axed soon, and then the weird Furry scene in the bedroom. And the finale...flipping lighted hedge maze chase scene.
I remember when I first saw this, I was just a little kid...Danny was retracing his steps backwards and I thought he was having a seizure. I didn't get it. Over my young head.
Not great to watch before bed, but hey...gotta taste life while you can.
The Shining is on.
Yessss.
Excellent movie. Very slow, but atmospheric and creepy and highly original.
It's the part where Olive Oil is trapped in the bathroom - classic scene. Her face is just so damn comical, I find it difficult taking her seriously.
Scatman is going to get axed soon, and then the weird Furry scene in the bedroom. And the finale...flipping lighted hedge maze chase scene.
I remember when I first saw this, I was just a little kid...Danny was retracing his steps backwards and I thought he was having a seizure. I didn't get it. Over my young head.
Not great to watch before bed, but hey...gotta taste life while you can.
Friday, August 30, 2013
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)