Man Up!

Is utilizing punctuation other than a period detrimental to feeling manly? The reason I ask is that I often see comments on Facebook from guys to their pals like these:

"Happy birthday, Joe."

"Congrats."

"Way to go."

Womp womp. When I see these types of sentences, they just come across as all kinds of sarcastic. I get the feeling that these particular guys believe that if they write anything more than the basics, or use punctuation above and beyond a period, they'll be labeled a sissy or too emotional, and get booted from the treehouse.

I'm betting these are the same guys who go to a movie and leave an empty chair between them and the next guy. When I see this, I laugh aloud & at a decibel level that is aimed at letting them know I've seen their wasted attempt at letting the world know that they are "straight" - I could care less which way you lean, quit taking up space.

Why is portraying oneself as devoid of emotion sacrosant to the epitome of manliness? Is there a playbook boys are handed upon puberty that shows them how to remain rugged and testosterony, even down to how they form sentences?

Maybe I'm reaching, but seeing this on a daily basis on Facebook and other electronic means of communication leads me to believe that either people have forgotten how punctuation works, or laziness has set in. I mean, can it be that important to keep with the period so that you remain a card-carrying member of the fight club?

Man up, I say. Use that exclamation point. Let them know you care. Show your friend that you're happy they had a baby, or graduated. It's an electronic symbol of a jovial slap on the back.

Paddle On...

I have embraced my inner paddler, and have been giving the kayak a good workout this summer. Aside from my usual lake excursions, I also started taking it out on local rivers - and boy has that been fun! The rivers are somewhat lazy, so nothing too crazy.

Movie review - Antichrist

I'm not sure how I missed this movie - it came out in 2009, and I'm a fan of Lars von Trier. My friend told me about it this week, and she knows my tastes very well.

It didn't disappoint.

The story is about a couple who, while making love, lose their only toddler son to a horrific accident. In an effort to save his wife from drowning in grief, the husband suggests they get away to their cabin in the woods, called Eden. He's a therapist and is going to try exposure therapy on her.

I guess exposure would be one of the overarching themes in this film - physical, behavioral, mental.

It's a horror movie, hands down, and a good one. But it also has an interesting fairytale element to it also. After I watched it I searched for reviews to help explain a little of the more odd scenes (fawn, fox, crow). There's a lot of imagery to this film. It's beautiful, foreboding, terrifying, and sinister.

As with most von Trier films, the cinematography is astounding, as is his use of music. If you've seen Melancholia, he uses the same type of slow-mo intro. Powerful.

I like how raw Charlotte Gainsbourg is in her acting. I often wonder if she doesn't just pull from real life when she inhabits her characters - her performances never feel contrived or overly dramatic, just natural.

Willem Dafoe was decent. He isn't someone I care to watch, but did a fine job with his reserved style.

It has many sexually explicit scenes, one within the first couple minutes in the opening of the film.

Two thumbs up for this one. Streaming on Netflix.

St. Louis South City restaurant sells interesting burger topping

A very special "burger topping" was found on the menu of a recently-opened St. Louis South City restaurant.

From what my friend tells me, the food is very tasty. Not sure if they were referring to this particular burger, tho.

In St. Louis we make sure not to waste anything. Except streetwalkers...

Wonder what the price point on a 1/4 lb would be?

Is it baked or deep-fried?

Can I order it on the side?

How much would extra cost?

Does it have to be crispy?

Top 10's for 2011

Should anyone care, here is a list of my top things in 2011.

Movies (in order)
1. Melancholia
2. Incendies
3. Contagion
4. Moneyball
5. Bridesmaids
6. The Interrupters
7. Terri
8. Weekend
8. The Skin I Live In
10. Sleeping Beauty

Album releases (in order)
1. PJ Harvey - Let England Shake
2. Phantogram - Nightlife
3. Foo Fighters - Wasting Light
4. Beastie Boys - Hot Sauce Committee Pt 2
5. TV On The Radio - 9 Types of Light
6.Frank Turner - England Keep My Bones
7.EMA - Past Lives Martyred Saints
8.Lana Del Ray - Born To Die
9. The Weekend - House Of Balloons
10.tUnE-yArDs - Whokill
11. Wildflag - Wildflag

Books
1. The Leftovers - Tom Perrotta
2. Give Me Your Heart: Tales of Mystery and Suspense - Joyce Carol Oates
3. A Widows Story - Joyce Carol Oates
4. A First-Rate Madness: Uncovering the Links Between Leadership and Mental Illness - Nassir Ghaemi
5. Colonel Roosevelt - Edmund Morris
6. It Looked Different On The Model - Laurie Notaro
7. No Bullshit Social Media - Jason Falls
8. Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children - Ransom Riggs
9. Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? - Mindy Kaling
10. A Game of Thrones: A Song of Fire and Ice Volume One - George R. R. Martin

Television (what I watched this year, not necessarily debuted this year)
1. Game of Thrones - Season 1 AMAZING show. Books are good also.
2. Boardwalk Empire - Seasons 1 & 2 Makes me want to go back in time to visit the era of Prohibition in NJ
3. The White Stripes - Under Great White Northern Lights. Yeah, I'm down for just about anything related to Jack White.
4. Downton Abbey - PBS Just another reason to support your public television provider
5. Homeland - Season 1 Love me some Claire Danes, Mandy Patinkin and homeland security
6. American Horror Story - Season 1 A one-hour spookfest each week. Count me in!
7. Prime Suspect - Season 1 (and only, as this phenomenally-written, acted and produced show has been cancelled)
8. Appropriate Adult - BBC...Great two-hour made-for-television movie featuring starring Emily Watson and Dominic West

Places to run outside
1. Tower Grove Park
2. Forest Park
3. Holly Hills neighborhood
4. The Hill
5. Castlewood
6. Queeny Park

Places to road bike
1. Weekend mornings downtown STL
2. Big Bend
3. Forest Park
4. Riverfront Trail
5. Castlewood (MTB)
6. Carondelet/Holly Hills trail
7. River Des Peres
8. Grant's Trail

Breakfast/brunch
1. Nadoz, Galleria - yummy crepes
2. Crepery - delicious crepes
3. Olivette Diner - tiny diner, big on taste
4. Soulard Coffee House - tasty fare, great Chai
5. Picasso's - best Chai in St. Louis
6. Meshuggah's - Chai, toast
7. Cafe Ventana - steeped Chai tea, begneits
8. 3 Monkeys - brunch
9. Grand diner - hashbrowns
10. Original Pancake House, Chesterfield - yup. Pancakes.

Lunch
1. Central Cafe - cheapest, most authentic Middle Eastern fare in St. Louis. Try the lentil soup, lebnah or shishtawook.
2. Little Saigon - try the Bo Luc Lac with vermicelli noodles
3. Llewelns - chips are the best.
4. Mangia - super tasty buffet
5. Tortillaria - super tasty and quick Mexican fare
6. Flavor of India (Olive & 270) - best buffet in town
7. Kampai Sushi - best in STL for lunch


Dinner
1. Bridge - best damn service, food and beer selection in STL. I dare you to beat it. Their cheese selection alone should make you bow to them.
2. Kampai Sushi - best damn sushi in STL. This hidden gem in the Coronado in the CWE is for serious sushi lovers. Vegas Roll.
3. Al Waha - Afgan food to die for.
4. Meskerem - Ethiopian deliciousness.
5. Deweys Pizza - cleanest pizza in town. By clean, I mean just the right amount of sauce, cheese, seasoning and toppings. Perfection on a pie.
6. Yummies - soul food with soul.
7. Bocci Bar - new and tasty
8. Vino Nadoz - best food/wine pairing in my book
9. DeMun Oyster Bar - Oysters. Yeah!
10. Sydney Street - an old, tried & true favorite

Music Venue
1. Off Broadway - non-smoking, get-close-to-the-band kinda goodness.
2. Old Rockhouse - non-smoking, two-story optional venue with amazing sound system and laid-back atmosphere
3. Firebird - good bands come here.
4. The Pageant - for those national shows.
5. Way Out - dirty, familiar, loud
6. Lemmons - small, dirty, loud
7. Sheldon Concert Hall - great national acts, classic
8. Cranky Yellow (RIP)

Concerts
1. Colin Hay
2. We Were Promised Jetpacks
3. Cults
4. TV On The Radio (and everyone else at LouFest)
5. Matt & Kim
6. Lucinda Williams/Over The Rhine
7. Mates Of State
8. Pains of Being Pure At Heart
9. Cold Cave
10. Ted Leo
11. Sebadoh
12. Ravonettes
13. New York Dolls/Motley Crue

Top 10 Friend Quotes of 2011

I surround myself with incredibly witty people. Like speaks to like. ;-)

Below are my Top 10 Quotes from my whip-smart friends - in no particular order:

10. "My uncle was eaten by pigs." - Maggie Samadi, in describing how her uncle was murdered by his loving wife. It's like the mafia, but on a farm.

9. "Dark is better." - Mary Lee, in response to the kind of chocolate that really gets her off...in a gastronomical sense, of course.

8. "He looks like he's got it going on. He makes fudge." - Maggie Samadi. Not sure of the origin of the quote, but you can bet it was inappropriate as hell.

7. "I'm wearing kinda stretchy pants." - Kathy Holleman, in describing her pre-holiday attire on casual-dress day at the office, 12/23. If you had seen the spread of goodies that adorned our workspace nooks and crannies, you would know how vital that statement is.

6. "Pedophiles appreciate midgets." - Maggie Samadi. 'Nuff said.

5. "Keyvan is orientally challenged." - Maggie Samadi, describing how her husband has a difficult time with directions. As in, orientating himself.

4. "Chew, dammit. Harder." - Anonymous, teasing me on my first attempt at eating artichoke leaves. Apparently, you suck the good stuff out, you don't chew the leaves. Dork moment supreme.

3. "Shake your Moroccans." - Maggie Samadi, with yet another culturally-challenged statement. Sometimes being married to a Persian gives you grace by association. Sometimes not.

2. "Back of the pants is better than pits." - My brother doling out keeping-you-hands-warm wisdom. Seeing as we come from North Dakota, you'd better believe it's truth.

1. "Probably geese abortions." - Maggie Samadi, commenting on all of the fowl excrement on the sidewalk in her neighborhood.

Little Deathies Donuts

So.

I have this medication that I need to take on a full stomach or I feel all throw-uppy. Like morning sickness w/o the bun in the oven.

I didn't get to have breakfast this morning because I got up late. And was lazy. And had to watch certain parts of "American Horror Story" again to get the full realization that this series might be ending, so there was a bit of pre-grieving happening on my comfy couch this dark, solstice morning.

What could I do but stop off at my hood gas station for a fill-up and some Little Debbies?

Done and done.

I get to work, settle in, and unwrap what I anticipate to be a mess of powdered-sugar goodness, as seen below:

It just wasn't meant to be.

I took a bite, and as I started chewing, I tasted what I can only compare to what might be lighter fluid. Or Drano. Or something just not right.

I immediately spit out what I had in my mouth, swished with water, spit some more, feeling the zombie effect coming on.

I felt like if I didn't get it all out, I might actually succumb to a formal digestive-system shut down, and that my next job might be as an extra on "The Walking Dead."

Seriously. That's how dangerous these Little Debbies donuts tasted.

I was the only one at the office, so I called my best friend to tell her my plight, and in case I died I wanted the proper action taken and the culprits prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

Of course, she had a nice chuckle. My friends rock. Keep me grounded, they do.

As we were chatting, and I was describing the unholiness that was disguised as a morning snack, I checked out the expiration date.

These donuts are a full TWO WEEKS past their due date.

My friend suggested that the preservatives in the donuts have gone bad, and that's what I'm tasting.

This is plausible. And more than likely the case, and not what I'm thinking which is either a government experiment on hood rats or the nephew of the Tylenol killer attempting his own 15 minutes of fame with tiny donuts.

So, I'm going to take the donuts back to the gas station, demand a refund, and make them remove all the Little Deathies off the shelves while I watch.

Obviously, I don't expect a tiny, hood gas station to adhere to inventory control. Shit happens. But they will on my watch.

And just in case you're on the breakfast hunt, the gas station is on the corner of Grand and Chouteau. You've been warned.