Does mayo come with the deep fried hooker?

Buzzfeed just posted an article, "16 Ingredients You Might Want To Stay Away From," which had me laughing out loud.

This reminded me of a menu item I found at a local eatery, of which will remain unnamed as it's a very tasty spot to eat and it was just a misprint....or so they say. You be the judge:

Oh, you meant prosciutto? Really? Lol...

Chevy Death Metal + Divine Intervention = A Pass

I ran across this video in my feed today, and it immediately reminded me of a day that I narrowly avoided getting mowed down by a wayward two-ton truck.

I remember everything very clearly. I was headed North on New Ballas Road towards Olive in my big ol' Ford Explorer that I'd lovingly nicknamed KBGB (Kristin's Big Green Beast). I was just about to pass the entrance to First Watch, and I saw this huge, old white Chevy pickup zooming out of the parking lot, onto New Ballas, into the lane next to me, and it wasn't completely turning into the right lane...it was coming straight at me. I was in the left lane, so I couldn't move over without hitting someone head-on.

I remember thinking that "this isn't going to turn out well"...
And then, everything happened in somewhat slow-motion.
I was preparing to get slammed, really bracing myself against the driver's side door, and could hear a mewling develop in my throat. Funny how your body can go on autopilot when preparing for disaster...

I was watching the truck come towards me....and....the it SHIMMIED about a foot to the right. Yup. It shimmied. Shifted. Moved in a way that it shouldn't have. This allowed it to make the turn into the right lane and not invade my lane.

Now, you're probably thinking that the road was wet which could account for the weird, skidding backwards-movement. No, it didn't skid (it was a nice, dry spring morning). It was as if some invisible force picked it up slightly and slid it a foot over back into the right lane...away from me. The movement that truck made was 100% against any law of physics known to man. The entire truck moved a foot to the right, not just the front or back as it might due to a sharp turn of the wheel. Completely UNNATURAL.

When the truck was tucked away in the right lane, next to me, the driver and I looked at each other. I'm pretty sure my face mirrored what I saw on his - pure amazement. We were both dumbfounded.

I say my prayers...sometimes more than I ususally do, depending on what's going on in life. I believe we are here for a reason, and I also believe that about 99.9999% of what happens to us in life is by chance, fate, planned by someone or something. Most of what happens cannot be controlled by us. Right place, right time...and vice versa. Unless, according to my friend Shawn, you have the ability to use The Force. (He longs to live on the planet Alderon...)

But on that day, in that instant, I believe that some force intervened in our lives and prevented what could've been a very serious accident, perhaps with life-threatening consequences.

I believe I was spared, as was the driver, for whatever reason. We got a pass that day. Most definitely.

Ever since then I have been hyper-aware of other drivers, and try to anticipate potential errors in judgement and drive defensively. I take that situation as a warning...that perhaps I should strive to be a better driver. And pray more, which I do.

So when I saw this video, I wondered if the bystander didn't benefit from a little divine intervention?

Movie Review - Possession

I had recorded this from AMC a couple weeks ago. It was billed as a "cult classic", and I'd never heard of it. Not sure how this wonderous creepfest escaped me, but I'm glad I ran across it.

It felt like something David Lynch might have done as an undergrad on acid. The performances were very frenetic and vivid. The special effects were pretty darn good for a film made in 1981, especially the "squid" scenes. Weird stuff. It entertained, and surprised. Catch it if you can.

Man Up!

Is utilizing punctuation other than a period detrimental to feeling manly? The reason I ask is that I often see comments on Facebook from guys to their pals like these:

"Happy birthday, Joe."

"Congrats."

"Way to go."

Womp womp. When I see these types of sentences, they just come across as all kinds of sarcastic. I get the feeling that these particular guys believe that if they write anything more than the basics, or use punctuation above and beyond a period, they'll be labeled a sissy or too emotional, and get booted from the treehouse.

I'm betting these are the same guys who go to a movie and leave an empty chair between them and the next guy. When I see this, I laugh aloud & at a decibel level that is aimed at letting them know I've seen their wasted attempt at letting the world know that they are "straight" - I could care less which way you lean, quit taking up space.

Why is portraying oneself as devoid of emotion sacrosant to the epitome of manliness? Is there a playbook boys are handed upon puberty that shows them how to remain rugged and testosterony, even down to how they form sentences?

Maybe I'm reaching, but seeing this on a daily basis on Facebook and other electronic means of communication leads me to believe that either people have forgotten how punctuation works, or laziness has set in. I mean, can it be that important to keep with the period so that you remain a card-carrying member of the fight club?

Man up, I say. Use that exclamation point. Let them know you care. Show your friend that you're happy they had a baby, or graduated. It's an electronic symbol of a jovial slap on the back.

Paddle On...

I have embraced my inner paddler, and have been giving the kayak a good workout this summer. Aside from my usual lake excursions, I also started taking it out on local rivers - and boy has that been fun! The rivers are somewhat lazy, so nothing too crazy.

Movie review - Antichrist

I'm not sure how I missed this movie - it came out in 2009, and I'm a fan of Lars von Trier. My friend told me about it this week, and she knows my tastes very well.

It didn't disappoint.

The story is about a couple who, while making love, lose their only toddler son to a horrific accident. In an effort to save his wife from drowning in grief, the husband suggests they get away to their cabin in the woods, called Eden. He's a therapist and is going to try exposure therapy on her.

I guess exposure would be one of the overarching themes in this film - physical, behavioral, mental.

It's a horror movie, hands down, and a good one. But it also has an interesting fairytale element to it also. After I watched it I searched for reviews to help explain a little of the more odd scenes (fawn, fox, crow). There's a lot of imagery to this film. It's beautiful, foreboding, terrifying, and sinister.

As with most von Trier films, the cinematography is astounding, as is his use of music. If you've seen Melancholia, he uses the same type of slow-mo intro. Powerful.

I like how raw Charlotte Gainsbourg is in her acting. I often wonder if she doesn't just pull from real life when she inhabits her characters - her performances never feel contrived or overly dramatic, just natural.

Willem Dafoe was decent. He isn't someone I care to watch, but did a fine job with his reserved style.

It has many sexually explicit scenes, one within the first couple minutes in the opening of the film.

Two thumbs up for this one. Streaming on Netflix.

St. Louis South City restaurant sells interesting burger topping

A very special "burger topping" was found on the menu of a recently-opened St. Louis South City restaurant.

From what my friend tells me, the food is very tasty. Not sure if they were referring to this particular burger, tho.

In St. Louis we make sure not to waste anything. Except streetwalkers...

Wonder what the price point on a 1/4 lb would be?

Is it baked or deep-fried?

Can I order it on the side?

How much would extra cost?

Does it have to be crispy?