I only learned this a month ago.
I've been known to be a late bloomer in some things. :-)
I’ve been running, on and off, since high school.
It’s never been anything I enjoyed. At all.
Sprints were okay, as were hurdles. Long distance? Bleh - not my cup of tea, but I did it to help stay in shape and because my friends were in track. And I did it with intense hatred.
I've had a special mantra in my head, reserved for long runs.
“I f*cking hate this.” Sometimes it varied. "This sucks."
Not sure where it came from, or how it developed, but I’ve always had a hate-hate relationship with running. I approached it in a half-assed, grudging way, and it did the same for me in return.
If there's anything I've learned throughout my life, it's that you can control how you react to something or someone, and this is a powerful thing. Your state of mind can make all the difference.
I’ve been taking a certification course in hypnotherapy. No, it’s not hypnosis, we don't use watches or trick people into acting like a chicken. It's more of a deeply relaxed state so that a client can work through issues such as phobias, trauma, pain, grief, and sports performance.
All the demonstrations I saw in class and had experienced first-hand as a demo subject made me a believer. If you’re open to it, and the therapist is patient and skilled, you can accomplish much through hypnotherapy. Might sound hokey (it did to me the first time I sat in class), so I get it if you’re reading this going “ah, yeah..whatever”. But it does have it’s benefits.
So back to my tale of kick-ass. One evening ;ast month, as I was preparing for a run, I decided to employ some of the deep relaxation techniques used in hypnotherapy on myself while doing a short pre-run stretch. It was kind of on a whim, just popped in my head as I was lacing up my right shoe. What the hell, I thought, I had nothing to lose. I'm certain it helped to approach it with a very laid-back, open attitude.
I don’t remember much, but what I do recall doing was mapping out my run in my head (3.2 miles, door to door, to my mom’s house and back), deciding that I would not stop at all, but rather slow down to a comfortable pace to overcome whatever might be ailing me, and to find small “goals” throughout, such as working on a negative split and improving my time by a minimum of 10 seconds.
Nothing too complicated. And again, approaching it in a way that it felt very basic, unencumbered and light probably helped. I uncomplicated it. :-)
Then, on a whim, I decided to add balance to the run. I’m big on balance, and I decided to listen to that part of myself in this situation. I usually run with my inhaler in one hand, rarely used, but it helps me feel comfortable. So what I did was find something equal in size and shape to hold in the other hand. My little can of mace fit the bill. I didn't think I'd need to use it, but this way I felt even, balanced.
And here’s what happened….
I completed the run at a good pace, with a negative split, and didn’t slow down or stop.
It didn't feel effortless, but it felt fantastic.
I arrived home feeling euphoric – runners high? Maybe. I don’t need to label it – whatever it was rocked.
But most importantly, I never once had a negative thought in my head. I waited for it, as it was the norm. All I thought about was how great running felt. Everything – the pace, the night sky, the smells of autumn.
Since then, I haven’t looked back. I want to run every day, and have to stop myself from doing so. I run every other day, and after each run I start planning out my next one. I missed a day due to travel recently, and it made me feel off-kilter.
So while I’ve run on and off throughout my life, I never considered myself a runner.
I do now.
And after a shit year, finally having a few things come together feels like a thousand blessings.
Update: Just finished a 6 mile run. 11:43 average pace. Very happy with that. Now for a hot shower, some good conversation, maybe a little wine and some foot reflexology.
