Bad Day

Extenuating circumstances or not, when someone close to you takes their own life, it's natural to feel sad, and also a little (or a lot) angry.

I'm angry at the circumstances. His actions were brought on by a bad reaction to new medication his physician recently put him on. He had a four year old daughter whom he lived for, and would have never done what he did yesterday had he not been reacting to the meds. He lived his life with purpose, and walked and talked that purpose. And it took less than a week on this particular medication to alter his outlook and his reality to the point where he decided it would be better to end his life than feel so helpless. It tears me up to think of the pain he must have been in to have thought this was the only way out.

I don't know every detail of what went down yesterday morning and don't want to. The more I know, the more I'd play the "why didn't I/someone" game in my head and that's no good for anyone. And I just don't want to know because I hate to think of how he might have been feeling or what his actions were leading up to the end. It would be more than I can handle right now.

What I know is that it all happened very fast. When I got the first call about the events playing out, I was on my way to work. It sounded like everything that could be done was being done, help was on the way. When I got the second call less than two minutes later, I was relieved thinking it would be good news, because you want to pass on the good news quickly, and wait on the bad...right? It wasn't good news, and I wasn't prepared.

I'm so thankful I made it to Memphis last weekend. That small detail makes this whole thing a little less devastating.

As his brother so eloquently said, "Apparently the strong ones, the ones you never see fall - pay attention, the merest whisper for help needs to be interpreted as a scream. Pay attention to the ones you love. Take nothing for granted."

We lost a wonderful friend, father, son, brother, uncle and champion yesterday. Arthur was a bright, warm and funny man and I'm lucky to have had him in my life for as long as I did. I miss him very much.

Southern Hospitality

Another long weekend in Memphis.

Explored Midtown, went to our favorite dive The Cove, and hunted down a bottle of Stone Woot Stout for B.

Nice to get away, but happy to be home.

Tick, tick, tick...

I can understand why some people are wary of a woman leading the country.

I was so supremely crabby today, I couldn't tolerate anything. Imagine if I had access to "the button"...

Ka. Boom.

The predictability of this ferocious feminine cycle is a bonus. 21 days of calm enlightenment, three days of eating everything in sight like a starving Tom Hanks rescued in Castaway, an entire 24-hours of hating every person in my presence, and four days of wishing I could stay in a hut.

Bring on the hut...

Randomness

Saw Argo. Meh. I despise 1970's "fashion" so it's difficult for me to see through to the plot.

Saw Insidious 2. Outstanding. Well worth sitting through a sequel.

Rediscovered Sunny Day Real Estate. Makes life better.

Recently discovered Passenger, J. Roddy Walston & The Business, and Martin Sexton. Good stuff.

I appreciate kind & genuine people who "go there"...by letting people in, you create authentic connection.

I am having a real epiphany regarding meat and processed food. Can't really do it any longer without feeling like I'm being poisoned. I'm very happy with my free-range eggs, greens, granola and fruits. Oh, and cheese here and there.

Had a bad case of DOMS last week, mainly biceps. Days of pain. Not cool, arms. Not cool.

I'm feeling more comfortable in my skin and with who I am more than ever before. I like the added confidence this brings about.

Yoga is more beneficial than I ever thought it could be. Same goes for running.

38 days to Halloween. Yes.

Dexter

I went through multiple years of really good, decent and lame storylines to sit through the worst series finale in cable television history?

Suck.

Happy Monday. Bah.

Things I like. Things I don't.

I like:

Running at night. 

That Capt. Kirk (Chris Pine) appears to have died in the new Star Trek move. I'm not through watching it, but I'm going to assume they will use Khan's cells to regenerate him. Dammit.

Eating clean.

Super soft t-shirts.

Cut off jean shorts.

My hair in 2010.

Benedict Cumberbatch.

British dramas.

Snugglin.

Fall.

Things I don't like:

Chris Pine's eyebrows.

The new Star Trek movie. Boring.

Bad kissers.

Mondays.

Decisions...

Got home from a delightful run, decided to flip through channels after shower.

The Shining is on.

Yessss.

Excellent movie. Very slow, but atmospheric and creepy and highly original.

It's the part where Olive Oil is trapped in the bathroom - classic scene. Her face is just so damn comical, I find it difficult taking her seriously.


Scatman is going to get axed soon, and then the weird Furry scene in the bedroom. And the finale...flipping lighted hedge maze chase scene.

I remember when I first saw this, I was just a little kid...Danny was retracing his steps backwards and I thought he was having a seizure. I didn't get it. Over my young head.

Not great to watch before bed, but hey...gotta taste life while you can.