Bad Day

Extenuating circumstances or not, when someone close to you takes their own life, it's natural to feel sad, and also a little (or a lot) angry.

I'm angry at the circumstances. His actions were brought on by a bad reaction to new medication his physician recently put him on. He had a four year old daughter whom he lived for, and would have never done what he did yesterday had he not been reacting to the meds. He lived his life with purpose, and walked and talked that purpose. And it took less than a week on this particular medication to alter his outlook and his reality to the point where he decided it would be better to end his life than feel so helpless. It tears me up to think of the pain he must have been in to have thought this was the only way out.

I don't know every detail of what went down yesterday morning and don't want to. The more I know, the more I'd play the "why didn't I/someone" game in my head and that's no good for anyone. And I just don't want to know because I hate to think of how he might have been feeling or what his actions were leading up to the end. It would be more than I can handle right now.

What I know is that it all happened very fast. When I got the first call about the events playing out, I was on my way to work. It sounded like everything that could be done was being done, help was on the way. When I got the second call less than two minutes later, I was relieved thinking it would be good news, because you want to pass on the good news quickly, and wait on the bad...right? It wasn't good news, and I wasn't prepared.

I'm so thankful I made it to Memphis last weekend. That small detail makes this whole thing a little less devastating.

As his brother so eloquently said, "Apparently the strong ones, the ones you never see fall - pay attention, the merest whisper for help needs to be interpreted as a scream. Pay attention to the ones you love. Take nothing for granted."

We lost a wonderful friend, father, son, brother, uncle and champion yesterday. Arthur was a bright, warm and funny man and I'm lucky to have had him in my life for as long as I did. I miss him very much.

Southern Hospitality

Another long weekend in Memphis.

Explored Midtown, went to our favorite dive The Cove, and hunted down a bottle of Stone Woot Stout for B.

Nice to get away, but happy to be home.

Tick, tick, tick...

I can understand why some people are wary of a woman leading the country.

I was so supremely crabby today, I couldn't tolerate anything. Imagine if I had access to "the button"...

Ka. Boom.

The predictability of this ferocious feminine cycle is a bonus. 21 days of calm enlightenment, three days of eating everything in sight like a starving Tom Hanks rescued in Castaway, an entire 24-hours of hating every person in my presence, and four days of wishing I could stay in a hut.

Bring on the hut...