I'm watching SNL as I get ready for work. One Direction is the musical guest.
I've never listened to their music nor do I know anything about them except for there's a boy named Harry Styles who my friend's son used to have hair like, apparently. Thankfully, no one compares my friend's son to Harry since he got a haircut. Read on...
-Harry Styles has the worst hair of any musician I've ever seen. Worse than Nelson. Worse than Cyndi Lauper. Worse than any look Tilda Swinton sported in any indie movie. Contrary to the name of the band, his hair goes every direction and then some. Harry looks like he's auditioning for the new Beethoven movie. Comb your hair, sir. Better yet, shave it off in case some woodland creature has made it's home in there...
-Dirty Boy: not sure what his name is, but he has a toddler of mustache, three-day adult facial growth and greezy looking locks like Kevin Bacon did in the 80s. He also is wearing a scoop neck t-shirt and you can see some tattoo peeking out, which made it feel like he was trying too hard. Love me some tats, but mister you look contagious.
-Mr. Neato: this guy has a perfectly coiffed head of hair, symmetrical features and resembles either of the two members of Color Me Badd who could've been twins for their Ken-like appearances. Decent voice, solid stage presence but doesn't stand out. Bet he smells like starch and Ivory soap.
-JT Wannabe: blondie has a good voice and some panache when it comes to performing, cute like a high school glee club front runner. I like him.
-Stiffy Mockneck: he made me uncomfortable with his uncomfortableness. He barely moved around, his voice wasn't strong, and it felt like maybe the producers or label of the group decided there wasn't enough diversity and they threw him in there to represent. I get the feeling he's searching for his "thing" and I hope he finds it. He came across as sweet and hopeful, and I'm hopeful he finds his light and lets it shine.
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