Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Vegewhat?

So day 23 on the vegetarian path.

I have not craved meat at all.

That surprises me, seeing as how
I used to love a good, juicy medium rare steak.

I try to work myself up to wanting some and I just can't. The thought of biting into bird muscle or cow hip repulses me.

I'm happy to be listening to my body...head, gut, whatever. Something's telling me that meat isn't on the menu just now, and that's just fine with me.

On a related note, I woke up in the middle of the night and I swear I could smell a Burger King Whopper. Weirdest thing.
Perhaps my subconscious is craving a burger. It was a very distinct aroma.

I know what you're thinking. I'm a lady, I don't do that.

And Ollie toots on a rare occasion, but it smells nothing like fast food. Wish it did...

TMI. :-)

And I'm out...

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Timing

The moment I see someone, really see them, as a potential player in my future happiness...I hear Pearl Jam's "Yellow Ledbetter" in my head.

That opening, melodic, crunchy guitar riff.

That is what potential sounds like to me.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Adoption Day

I just received the nicest flower arrangement from my aunt and uncle for my adoption day.

It was a nice surprise - made me tear up.

Who's the luckiest adopted girl in the world?

Me. :-)

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Yah Mon

Morning cycling recap:
Avg speed: 16.4
Avg rpm: 87
Total miles: 32
Total hills: 4
Total times Chaka Demus' "Murder She Wrote" played thanks to sneaky iPod repeat: 5

Feeling pretty good, wish I had gotten out sooner - it's damn hot out. Will run tonight after BBQ. Should be cooler.

As I got situated on the bike, I looked up at the perfect, blue & bright sky and thought immediately of my friend who passed away last Sunday night. So, I dedicated the ride to him. I'm completely convinced he is still with us, in some way. I may feel differently after the services next week, but for now he's with me in spirit. This past weekend I reread our correspondence from over the years, and am so thankful to still have that. We had some stellar conversations, on and off the page. His last two phrases he wrote me were "Positivity beats all!! Believe it!"

I do.

As I was writing this, one of our shared favorite songs came on - Iridescent by Linkin Park. He turned me on to it, and we both related to the message - let it go. You can be your own worst enemy by holding onto hurt and frustration and the past. Just let that shit go and look ahead with happiness.

Good message. Good man.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Riddle me this...

Questions for the universe:

1. Why do certain foods taste so damn good in my mouth, yet other parts of my body reject them (plums, bing cherries, anything dairy, Mac & Cheese, Indian cuisine)?

2. Why is it so easy to give advice, yet so difficult to follow said advice when situation arises (boyfriends, over thinking, open water swimming, taking chances)?

3. Why aren't all dressing rooms like the ones at Victoria's Secret?

4. Why isn't there a remake of Pitch Perfect in the works, because this movie is pure awesomeness and I need more. More!!

5. Why can't my dog speak so that he can tell me where he was from birth to year four and how he came to be in my life?

Monday, July 1, 2013

Shock

A friend of mine passed away last night in his sleep.

I just found out through a FB post from a mutual friend that had "RIP" in it.

It was a nice post, but was very jarring to see those letters next to my friend's name. I had to clarify, hoping that maybe my friend was no longer employed and that's why our mutual friend was saying goodbye.

We had just spoken last week. He had been having some health issues, but nothing that in my mind would lead to death. He was only 38.

I am so sad. He was a very passionate, deeply loving man who always "went there" with his feelings, and those of you who know me know how much I appreciate that in a person, as did he. He was very intelligent, spiritual and witty, and our conversations always left me feeling good and usually renewed in some way.

I can't believe I won't get the chance to talk with him again. So many times I've seen people rally against the death of someone dear with the phrase, "it's not fair, they were taken too soon." I can tell you in this case words never rang truer.

I haven't lost many people in my life, for which I'm grateful, but the few I have lost leave holes in my heart and the sadness chips away at the happiness.

So as I sit here, unable to do much of anything except cry, I count myself lucky to have known that kind, funny and compassionate man. I wish I had just one more minute to look into his eyes and tell him exactly that, and how he is appreciated and a gift and loved.

Rest in peace, my friend. I am certain you are in a good place and no longer in pain. You are already terribly missed, and the memory of you, while is not even close to a replacement, will be held onto tightly and with love.