Shock

A friend of mine passed away last night in his sleep.

I just found out through a FB post from a mutual friend that had "RIP" in it.

It was a nice post, but was very jarring to see those letters next to my friend's name. I had to clarify, hoping that maybe my friend was no longer employed and that's why our mutual friend was saying goodbye.

We had just spoken last week. He had been having some health issues, but nothing that in my mind would lead to death. He was only 38.

I am so sad. He was a very passionate, deeply loving man who always "went there" with his feelings, and those of you who know me know how much I appreciate that in a person, as did he. He was very intelligent, spiritual and witty, and our conversations always left me feeling good and usually renewed in some way.

I can't believe I won't get the chance to talk with him again. So many times I've seen people rally against the death of someone dear with the phrase, "it's not fair, they were taken too soon." I can tell you in this case words never rang truer.

I haven't lost many people in my life, for which I'm grateful, but the few I have lost leave holes in my heart and the sadness chips away at the happiness.

So as I sit here, unable to do much of anything except cry, I count myself lucky to have known that kind, funny and compassionate man. I wish I had just one more minute to look into his eyes and tell him exactly that, and how he is appreciated and a gift and loved.

Rest in peace, my friend. I am certain you are in a good place and no longer in pain. You are already terribly missed, and the memory of you, while is not even close to a replacement, will be held onto tightly and with love.