Top 10 Friend Quotes of 2011

I surround myself with incredibly witty people. Like speaks to like. ;-)

Below are my Top 10 Quotes from my whip-smart friends - in no particular order:

10. "My uncle was eaten by pigs." - Maggie Samadi, in describing how her uncle was murdered by his loving wife. It's like the mafia, but on a farm.

9. "Dark is better." - Mary Lee, in response to the kind of chocolate that really gets her off...in a gastronomical sense, of course.

8. "He looks like he's got it going on. He makes fudge." - Maggie Samadi. Not sure of the origin of the quote, but you can bet it was inappropriate as hell.

7. "I'm wearing kinda stretchy pants." - Kathy Holleman, in describing her pre-holiday attire on casual-dress day at the office, 12/23. If you had seen the spread of goodies that adorned our workspace nooks and crannies, you would know how vital that statement is.

6. "Pedophiles appreciate midgets." - Maggie Samadi. 'Nuff said.

5. "Keyvan is orientally challenged." - Maggie Samadi, describing how her husband has a difficult time with directions. As in, orientating himself.

4. "Chew, dammit. Harder." - Anonymous, teasing me on my first attempt at eating artichoke leaves. Apparently, you suck the good stuff out, you don't chew the leaves. Dork moment supreme.

3. "Shake your Moroccans." - Maggie Samadi, with yet another culturally-challenged statement. Sometimes being married to a Persian gives you grace by association. Sometimes not.

2. "Back of the pants is better than pits." - My brother doling out keeping-you-hands-warm wisdom. Seeing as we come from North Dakota, you'd better believe it's truth.

1. "Probably geese abortions." - Maggie Samadi, commenting on all of the fowl excrement on the sidewalk in her neighborhood.