I love Jennifer Garner. I will watch any movie she stars in, regardless of how crappy, like the remake of "Arthur" - I muddled through it just to see Mrs. Affleck bust out her unique brand of comedic timing.
She's got a new movie coming out called "The Odd Life Of Timothy Green" in which she plays a wife who cannot get preggers. She and her husband make some kind of magical wish, and the next day a dirty little boy appears who apparently grew in their garden.
Okay, whatevs. Sounds hokey, but sweet also.
My brother and I first saw the preview when we went to see "Ted", and as I was watching the trailer I got this very ominous feeling.
I'm pretty sure I can guess how this rutabega-boy story is going to end.
And I don't like it one bit. And if you have a heart, you won't either.
I think this little garden boy is gonna die.
I clued my brother into my prophecy, and he started giggling hysterically, and agreed with me. And then said he couldn't wait to see it. Our family enjoys morbid humor.
So, you may be wondering how I came to this conclusion. Well, it's pretty simple.
The preview shows him with petite, green leaves growing out of his ankles, and it appears to be springtime. To me, this means that he's "fresh from the garden, new and pure", much like a ripe-for-pickin' soybean plant.
Follow me so far? Okay, good.
Later on in the preview we get snippets of dialogue that make it seem as if he's special (obvs) and that he's teaching people lessons about life. The message seems to be that different is okay, and you can still laugh in a hospital bed at 80 or if you're a misunderstood tween Goth wannabe.
Nothing good can come of this. I've seen this kind of foreshadowing before.
The same plotline took place, loosely, in "Pay It Forward"....weird, sensitive little boy teaches people valuable life lessons, then he's shanked in the schoolyard.
But here, we have a plant-boy who is green during the spring/summer, and then fall comes around and he's playing in the DEAD LEAVES...
Shanking isn't part of this tots plan.
I'm thinking we'll get to see some shriveled, yellow leaves around his ankles that start to bend and break and, as the leaf dust is carried along the autumn breeze, he starts to have a difficult time walking/breathing/seeing....growing.
Because we all know what happens to plants during the fall, right before the winter. They die. And I'm guessing so will the kid.
But hey, he taught many people how to be more open and accepting and to laugh and love again, so it's okay. Right?
Wrong. This does not make it okay. Plant boy deserves a chance to live. And I guarantee the movie will involve doctors, and not horticulturists, in attempting to save his life. Because it's Disney. Evil, evil Disney.
I hope Disney don't play to formula and instead gives this a more unique and upbeat ending...like maybe the parents purchase copious amounts of Miracle-Gro which keeps the little tyke around longer, and he goes on to be a succeessful motivational speaker who doesn't make people walk on hot coals.
Or maybe they build him a special greenhouse, much like John Travolta's character had in "The Boy In The Plastic Bubble" which is one of the dorkiest, sweetest movies out there starring my favorite Sweathog.
Let's just hope they don't take him out back to the compost pile. That would be uber creepy. Green, which is cool, but still creepy.
Keeping my fingers crossed here.
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