"Millenials are cleverly-disguised robots dressed in Ann Taylor and Brooks Brothers. And occasionally Old Navy. So scary."
"Stop. Hammertime." MANY times. I dork out often.
"Email sucks. It's like a person who pokes you continuously all day long. It huuurts."
"I want a cheese toasty. And a beer. And some canned pears. Blended."
"Take a breath. Breathe, now...do it."
"Most women I know have had the bad, embarrassing, disappointing sex that was shown on 'Girls'...but none of us want to relive that shit!"
"I need a vacation. Soon. Or I may go mental."
"I am willing to singlehandedly attempt to resurrect the genius that was shorts/Birks/wool socks. Heaven."
"4:00 a.m. is my new wake time. Word. Gonna turn in like a grama erry night, yo."
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