A request

So, I have a friend who is, hands down, the strongest person I know.

I won't go into detail, but this friend has fought health problems for longer than I've known her, and her attitude, while realistic, is always upbeat and positive.

She's going through a very rough time right now. She's never far from my thoughts, I chat with her every day, and am constantly astounded by her strength in the face of unreal adversity. Astounded.

I believe in the power of positive thought. If somehow, more people put good thoughts about her out to the universe, perhaps some of that positive energy will reach her and help interrupt or asuage or just fucking stop the pain that she's going through.

So, I'm asking you, please send some good thoughts her way. It doesn't matter if you're religious or not.

Just a postitive thought: Feel better. Stay Strong. No more pain. Life will get better.

Thank you.

Who are you?

Every night, since the end of last April, before I go to sleep I make it a point to remember something good about my life from that day, and to think something I look forward to upon waking up.

I'm thankful.

I've been thinking about this lately - the good things.  When work or life gets crazy, I also think about what I could be faced with, which makes me even more grateful.

I am not:

-facing another night of cold and hunger, not knowing when my next meal or warm bed will be

-working in an oven-hot, windowless factory, bent over machinery, my fingers and back cramped while I make toys that sell for $15.00, and my hourly wage is $.15

-a woman on her first, second or third marriage who's husband is unfaithful which makes her take it out on her kids

-battling a life-threatening illness

-alone

I am:

-thankful to have a warm place to call my home

-blessed to have a wonderful boss, a rewarding job and the opportunity to work towards better health for hundreds of thousands of people

-overjoyed to have real love in my life

-amazed and grateful to be as healthy as I am and dont' take it for granted any longer

-lucky to have the most wonderful dog on the planet as my best buddy

And, much like this next clip....

I'm also just a girl......

standing in front of a boy....

asking him to love her. ;-)



Bwahahahaa.....such a crappy movie I couldn't resist. The post was getting way to serious.

Defining your vision

Pessimist.

Optimist.

Realist.

Which way do you lean?

I've crossed "pessimist" off my list, as I've never really been one. Oh sure, certain situations that to me seemed impossible were written off early, so if that's pessimism I've guilty. But overall, I don't take that view.

As recent as a few years ago, I was almost a complete optimist. That is to say, I lived in the land of make-believe that I could control the uncontrollable, and things would work out. Not for the best, but work out the way I had them set up to in my head.

Glad that's over.

I have fallen into the comfort - I use that word carefully, because it is truly comforting - of looking at a situation for what it is, not what it could be. My pragmatic approach to breaking down what I'm learning or living is, for me, what feels right.

I look for the silver lining  - which is a good movie, and an even better concept.  I seek the good that can come, and I have hope, but don't pin it too high...it's at eye level. It's good to hope for things, but it's also good to accept that if those heights aren't reached, you can be satisfied, even happy, with the outcome.

Looking at life realistically takes a giant load off. You know that load...worrying about what might be. Embracing what "is" can be so freeing. It really can.

So when I ask myself, "Is it possible for me to run two miles, five miles, seven miles?" my answer is, "Yes, it is." I do it. Can I run 13.1 miles? That's my goal. If I walk some of it, so be it. But I will travel 13.1 miles by foot and willpower on April 7th, hopefully (boom...and there's the optimism!) upright the entire way.

All that said, you may have already guessed that I fall into the category of optimistic realist. I'm happier when I can come to terms with the unknown, and make the changes I have control of to better my life.

Is that playing it safe? No, I don't think so. Is being a realist better than being an optimist? Who am I to say? I don't think it's a question of what's "better" - it's a question of what works for you, and what makes sense for your life.

On the flip side, when it comes to romance I'm a realistic optimist. And much like the image, you'll never hear me say I love you with all my heart....because the heart an organ. But, I will say I love you with all that I am.

;-)

Suck it up.

Almost a month into drama-free 2013 and running is still fun.

I enjoy the mental aspect of it almost more than the physical. It’s the thing I look forward to most when heading out for a few miles.

I don’t mind running in the rain, or snow, or bitter cold. What prevents me from getting to that meditative state is the wind. That damn wind.

Lately, the early-spring weather we’ve been having here and there brings about big, gusty winds. Total pain in the ass.

But, I just keep reminding myself that as long as I have the ability to put one foot in front of the other, whatever the pace, I will run. Someday I won’t be able to, and I don’t want to look back with regret on the days that I didn’t use my body and mind to its potential.

Pretty Good Year

Chatted with my bestie tonight. She's awesome. We got on the topic of drama. Or rather, the lack thereof. So far, 2013 has been amazing.

It is possible to have a drama-free life. Everyone has the power to make this happen.

When life throws you a curveball, whether it's in the form of a miffed customer, coworker, friend or stranger, you can:

1. Recognize that the drama they attempt to bring to your life is theirs. They own it. It's not yours.

2. Decide on how you will or won't react to that drama. Acknowledge it. Ignore it. Do what's right for you, but keep emotion out of it - and this is easy because you've already recognized that it's not your drama, so there's nothing to get emotional about.

3. Keep on keeping on.

That's really it. Three simple rules to keep your life drama free.

Perspective is a wonderful thing. So is time.

Obviously these rules don't apply if the drama is in the form of a natural or man-made disaster.

But keep them in mind for everyday stuff.

I leave you with this...one of my favorite songs.

Black Angels & Hanni

Whew! My 2013 concert calendar was looking sparse. Was worried. Not now.

The Black Angels are coming w/Hanni El Katib opening. At the Firebird, no less.

I’m more excited about Hanni El Katib. Bluesy, garage sound with loud, crunchy guitar a’la White Stripes.

Good stuff.

What's the dealio...

Another three day weekend over. It went by very fast.

It was surprisingly productive, and filled with good deals:

-I got a new phone. Switched from Apple to Android. I refuse to be a slave to a brand, and I saved money.

-I switched from Charter to U-Verse for my cable and internet. Saving over $65/month for the exact same services.

-We had our first Family Day of 2013. Fun, food, frolic.

-I ran 5 miles with my half-marathon training group. Fantastic people, good weather. This will be challenging, but I am down for it. Got nothing to lose by poundage.

So far, 2013 is shaping up to be a very good year. Heads and tails above "the year of which we will never speak."

Flip the script

My former grieving, cloudy, semi-pessimistic, early-2012 self would've said I'm having a day and evening of long-ass meetings.

Drag.

My reformed grab-the-moment, not-gonna-let-it-bother-me, life-is-too-damn-short, late-2012/early-2013 self says that I was fortunate to meet with some very brilliant minds today to discuss how what we do on a daily basis will have positive outcomes for the health and safety of millions of people.

Rad!

Flip the script, people. Living with joy and positivity is a helluva lot better than bitching loudly and longly about people and things that are beyond your control. Wasted effort!!

You cannot control much of what happens to you on a daily basis. It is what it is.

BUT...you can control how you react to it. You've got that power, use it.

Sure, we all have our challenges, our sorrows, our suck situations.  We can either let them take us down, or we can ALLOW them to give us strength and fuel our success.

And hey, it's okay to rant once in awhile. Letting off steam is GOOD!

But reframe, reset and remove the negativity afterwards. Don't give in. Remember, it takes a heckuva lot more effort to be angry than it does to be happy.

Okay. That's my pep talk for today.

Hope you're flipping the script. If not, give it a try and see how badass you feel!

Okay, best get back to work...keeping millions safe and healthy, y'all! ;-)

Brunch and floating bananas

Spent the better part of Sunday at Sqwires catching up with friends. When we get together we can easily spend 4-5 hours talking about everything under the sun and moon.

Out of the blue they said they were overdue for a little time off. They wanted to know about my cabin excursion over the holidays.

Aside from the hot tub incident, they said it sounded perfect.

So we're planning a getaway in either late Feb or early March.

Cannot wait. I should be ready for some time off of training by then.

Maybe it will be warm enought to launch the big banana for some paddling.

Runsicle

When I got home from work it was still daylight out, so I decided to get a quick run in while the sun was still peeking out. I hate treadmills, and they hate me. I'm uncoordinated so any time I get on one I say a prayer.

Anyway, growing up in North Dakota we used to run outside for gym, whatever the weather. Snow on the ground? Run. Snowing? Run. 5 degrees below zero? Bundle up and run.

But we were also young, and unable (unwilling?) to comprehend how damn cold that was. And we were fairly fearless, and just did as we were told. Survived. No harm done.

Now I'm an old fuddie, and 24 degrees is effin cold. I wore my Sugoi thermal tights, mockneck and half-zip, wool socks, a fleece ear warmer and a thermal skullcap, and two pairs of thermal gloves.

The only places on my body that were uncomfortably cold were my face and my left thumb.

Wha?

My face was mostly uncovered, that's on me. Balaclava next time.

But my thumb? I called my mom to see if I'd ever had frostbite or something close to it growing up. I don't remember, she didn't either but it seems that I may have, due to the sensitivity of my thumb.

That's never happened before.

Guess I gotta break out the ski gloves, 'cause I'm not forkin over dinero for a third pair of gloves.

Weirdness.

Either way, I got a solid three miles in. Bam.

Movie Review: Thirty Dark Zero

Saw the movie.

It was really good. Not great, but really good.

Perhaps it was all the hype about being the best movie of the year/ever made that made my expectations so high. The trailers were very powerful also.

But although the subject matter was very heavy, the movie felt somewhat light, like it was missing some connectedness...that is, until the end.

The Navy Seal team got into their super-stealth helicopters to fly into Afghanistan to the compound that supposedly housed Bin Laden. Apparently it was filmed in the same amount of time the mission took, so we were viewing it in "real time."

This is when the tension really started. This was the part that made the movie good for me.

It was nerve-wracking. There wasn't a sound in the theater. Everyone was quiet, fixated on what was taking place on the screen. This was it - what were we going to get to see? How does this all play out?

And then, just as the Navy Seals were closing in on Bin Laden, the sound in our theater quit working.

At the pivotal climax of this super-hyped film, we had no audio.

It was such a monumental letdown. The removal of the audio, accompanied by the feral rage pitched by the audience, took me completely out of the moment.

The tension was gone.

After what felt like forever, the sound came back on. It was probably  about 25 seconds, but these were crucial seconds.

Anyway, there were good performances by the main actors. Jessica Chastain was captivating. She's just a pleasure to watch. Glad she won the Golden Globe.

The scenes with the torture were not pleasant to watch. The behind-the-scenes as the agents are looking for anything that would lead them to Bin Laden were entertaining, and individualy were great. But when they were all put together, it sometimes felt disjointed and forced.

SPOILER:

The first minute of the movie is audio only. It's of a 911 call from someone in one of the Twin Towers, speaking with a 911 operator.

It was incredibly chilling and sad and devastating to hear, because of what was said and how it went and what happened at the end of the call. It was so hard to hear. However, I thought it was the perfect way to start this movie. It reminded you why this story needed to be told.

It's definitely a movie you should see in the theater.

Dog days...and nights

Oliver Scootch McFadyen

 

Sweetest face ever, right?

Ever since I brought him home from the Humane Society, Oliver has been a late-night eater.

If I hand feed him, he will eat in the evening before bed. Sometimes.

Since he's a midnight snacker, I keep a nightlight on cuz he is not the most coordinated dog...guess he takes after his momma.

What I've noticed of late is that I'm just not sleeping well. I wake up often, and have a difficult time getting to sleep.

I'm thinking it could be the light.

So I'm making an executive decision and will be retiring the nightlight for awhile to see if this helps me.

Oliver will just have to dine by moonlight.

Hope he doesn't trip over his paws getting to his crunchies.

Dodging Metaphorical Bullets

I've managed to avoid the following things in my life, and I feel damn lucky for it:

1. 50 Shades of Gray. I'd rather nap. And have.

2. Cats. I have a severe allergy. Dogs are my pet of choice. Neat how some things work out for the best.

3. Eating live crawfish. I may live in MO, but I do not hail from MO, so this is easier to avoid were I a native.

4. Being carjacked/mugged. Difficult to do in STL. 

5. The non-important parts of Canada. I believe I've seen the best bits.

6. Jellyfish. Spent some time on the West Coast, in the ocean. They live there.

7. The movie Avatar. This means I have 161 minutes more than 25.7 million people had before they watched it. HA!

8. Marrying the wrong man. (I did marry the right one, at the wrong time...)
9. An obsession with Scandanavian modern furniture.

10. Broken bones. I've had many sprains, but no breaks. Surprising, considering how uncoordinated and adventurous I am. Never a good combo.

11. Buffalo stampede. I grew up in ND, and we had a few field trips to national parks where buffalo roam, so yeah, the opportunity was there.
12. Scientology. No explanation needed.

13. Spam. I'm a Vienna Sausage kinda gal.

14. Hearing an entire Rush song. Bleeding ears, bleeding ears...

15. Losing at indian leg wrestling more than winning. It's a common pasttime when you're snowed in. Lots of practice.

16. Being serenaded with Christmas carols by a talented Jewish accordion player posing as my boyfriend. Wait, that did happen....shoooooot.

17. Being last chair flute in band. I was always in the top two...with the exception of 7th grade. The year from hell. The photo above is me in 7th grade. 99 problems and band was one of 'em.

18. A girl fight my junior year of high school. I won first chair piccolo, and the bruiser who lost and was now second chair said she'd get me after school. The prestige of first chair always comes with danger....

19. Being sprayed by a skunk. Having been to camp and living on the prairie gets you very close to this.

20. Total heartbreak. Some close calls, but I'm still alive, don't hate men and believe in love, so I'm pretty sure the best is yet to come.

Pee Lattes

Due to my kray-kray work schedule, I am limited to only one yoga class a week.

I've found a mat pilates class at the gym that I can fit on once a week, so I'm gonna give it a whirl.

I love me some stretching. I'm sure there's more to it than that, but whatevs - I'm in.

I busted out 15 miles on the mag trainer tonight. My dog Ollie hung out on the bed and watched me in between dozing off. He's such a sweet soul.

Looking forward to the Go! training kicking off this weekend. Hoping for decent weather.

Movie Review: The Impossible

A very good film. It's based on the true story of a Spanish family spending Christmas in Thailand when a tsunami hits and kills hundreds of thousands of people.

Ewan McGregor, Naomi Watts and the oldest kid do a fantastic job pulling together as a family in crisis.

What stood out to me were the ancillary players - the hotel concierge, the villagers who work together to get the mother and son to a hospital, and the hospital and aid workers. Everyone just did what they had to do with compassion, certitude and kindness.

The visuals were believable - the injuries, the water, and destruction. There were a couple parts that seemed too real, where you pull your hand up to cover your mouth because it's almost too shocking for words.

It's worth seeing in the theater.

No thank you.

1. Plumber butt - do you not feel the air hit the crack? You know you do, so to continue on in this fashion makes you a deviant. Own it.

2. Men wearing loafers without socks. However, if you wear them with a tucked-in shirt and you or your significant other use the term "hubs", then by all means continue to wear loafer w/o socks. :-)

3. Long fingernails on men. There is no sane reason for this unless you are a cocaine fiend, and that's not really sane, now is it. Perhaps it's cultural, and if so I apologize.

4. Furries. People who dress up in animal costumes and get it on. If you must dress up, a Lone Ranger mask would be okay.

5. Neck tats. To each their own, but not for me.

6. Current tween fashion at Target - I saw a pair of jeans the other day. They were made out of pastel-flowery denim. I OWNED THESE SAME JEANS IN 1984. I did. Really. And they weren't cute then either.

7. Community hot tubs (see post from 1/3)

8. Dim sum. Smells bad. Tastes bad. I'd rather lick someone's feet...well, not a stranger's feet but the feet of someone I know.

9. Air kissing/on-the-lip-kissing in social settings. A hello and/or hug will do. If I really like you, and vice versa, a kiss on the cheek would be sweet.

10. Rush. The band. Just don't enjoy it. A former bf would play "Tom Sawyer" to torment me. For this, and a few other reasons, he is now my former. Yeah, back then I was guilty of playing Coldplay way too much, but that doesn't warrant a Rush retribution. It just doesn't.

In my head today...

My dog's breath smells like fish food sometimes, which makes me remember feeding my carnival-won goldfish as a child. Good memory, not so good smell.

Ben Kingsley is a sexy old actor, especially if he's bald. It's true - watch Elegy and tell me he doesn't get you hot. If you're a straight guy, Penelope Cruz is in the movie so you'll have something to watch. It also has one of the loveliest soundtracks.

There's a lot to be said for the body's ability to heal itself. The same goes for a hot bath. And cheese toasties.

I heard this in a film - when someone is getting on your nerves or you just can't stand them, pretend they are drunk. It then becomes a pity thing, and they become tolerable. So far, it works.

I hate it when my favorite soft, snuggly socks get holes in the toes. Sewing them doesn't help, because you can feel the repair and the soft, snuggly feeling isn't there.

Chill, chums & chapped ass

For part of my two-week vacation, I really wanted some down-time away, doing a whole lot of nothing.

K & I decided to rent a big 'ol cabin away from it all. We found one a couple hours outside of STL that overlooked a river and *BONUS* had a hot tub (foreshadowing).

The pics on the website looked splendid. We were stoked.

With the car loaded up with supplies, we headed out to our holiday getaway.

We took a short detour on the way down and stopped in for lunch at my fave diner, Wimpy's. Pulled up tight to the counter and enjoyed a cheeseburger, fries and Sundrop. Delish.

Once at the cabin, we unloaded and decided to go out to explore the surrounding countryside. We picked up a couple bottles of vino at a winery and headed to a state park to take in the loveliness.

K got some fish food and had fun watching the trout swarm, much like pirhana in the movies...

 

We then stopped at a few country stores on the way back for firewood and accoutrements. In this particular neck of the woods, they keep their Civil War hats right next to the Jolly Ranchers near the register. Tasty boom.

Once back at the cabin, we met the owner and Teddy, one of his many dogs. She was very chummy (Teddy the dog, not the owner) and ended up spending the night on our couch. This is us, snuggling up in the morning.

When we got back from the park, we went out back to check on the hot tub. It was turned on, cleaned, and the bubbles were going. Seems that it was ready for use, and who were we to say no? It looked so inviting. Little did we know....evil lurked just beneath the surface.

It was freezing out, but with the bubbles in and out of the tub, we didn't feel it. We turned the music up, kept the beverages coming and hung out for hours.

After a while I got out to get another bottle of something, and once inside the cabin my skin started to prickle with pain. I immediately thought I was having an allergic reaction to the chlorine. But then I started to notice that I was only feeling the pain in the areas that came in direct contact with the interior surface of the hot tub.

The longer I was out of the hot tub, the worse it felt. I ran outside and told K to get out of the tub. He did, and started to experience the same thing I did.

When we had first gotten in, we noticed that the surface of the hot tub under the water didn't feel as smooth as the part above the water line, and we chalked it up to the owners using some sort of non-slip treatment.

Yeah. Right.

When you're really looking forward to something, you tend to make inane excuses or look past the obvious.

We were up for most of the night. Think of the pain you felt from your worst sunburn ever. That's what this felt like. Good thing I had packed individual baggies of ice to fill up the cooler, because we used them to help numb the areas that hurt the worst.

It was beyond ridiculous. It was almost comical.

The next morning it was better - no more pain, just tenderness. We laughed about it and ended up taking a short walk down to the river to explore, and then up to the tracks. Teddy went with us - she was a very polite hostess.

We packed up, headed out and decided last minute to try the local flavor for breakfast and had pancakes and french toast at the new truck stop outside of town. Kind of a greezy, good reward for the suffering we went through.

I called my best guy friend, Bri, who's a smarty when it comes to anything electric, wooden or mechanical. He laughed when I told him of our travails, and had the answer immediately. The hot tub's epoxy coating had worn down, and what we were sitting on was unprotected fiberglass.

We had thousands of tiny cuts from tiny shards of fiberglass.

Oy.

It was good to know, but also disturbing.

It was nice to get away...already planning a "do over" excursion. This time, there will be no hot tub.

Nope. No way.

But it is on my wish list for owning one someday.

Sad/True

Sad that there have been so many acts of gun violence of late that require video instruction on what we should do to save ourselves and others.

True - same as above.

As far as instructional videos go, I think this one is very well done. I appreciate that they addressed characters that could hinder your escape or hiding, because not everyone will react calm and decisively. I'd like to think I'd be all super-commando, getting myself out safely and helping others, but who really knows, right?

Big kudos to Spencer Collier of the Alabama Department of Homeland Security for putting this out there. I see on YouTube that Houston has done the same thing. Every state should...perhaps that's in the works.

See ya

I'm so thankful that 2012 is over. Let 2013 be easier, happier, for all of us. The first song I heard this year, in the wee hours of the morning, was "Fix You" by Coldplay. That was beyond rad. It's mine. Ain't giving it back to no one, nevah.