Feast Your Eyes....

I'm resurrecting a former blog post from my old Prairie Fire Girl blog that lists all of my favorite scary movies. I'll be adding some to the list, though, as I've recently discovered French and Italian horror cinema...and let's not forget the gorefest that is Korean cinema...ewww.

I am a true horror movie fan, which means I watch them year round. I love to see them in the theater - in fact, I rarely miss seeing a new release that meets my criteria. So when Halloween rolls around, I'm ready for some new scare-fodder.

Here are my lists:

Favorite horror movies
1. Halloween (original 1978 version)
2. The Exorcist
3. The Shining
4. Friday the 13th (original)
5. Carrie
6. Inside (French realistic)
7. House of 1,000 Corpses
8. Devil's Rejects
9. Halloween (Rob Zombie remake)
10. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974 version)

Honorable Mentions
-The Ring (American) or Ringu (Asian)
-The Orphanage (Italian)
-The Others
-Blair Witch Project (uniqueness)
-Paranormal Activity 1 (uniqueness and on the cheap)
-Insidious
-Sinister (Ethan Hawke, good plot, hilarious deputy)
-A Tale of Two Sisters (Korean)
-I Saw The Devil (Korean)

Favorite Cheesy Horror Movies
1. Motel Hell
2. I Spit On Your Grave
3. Don't Look In The Basement
4. Young Frankenstein
5. The Last House On The Left
6. Killer Clowns from Outer Space

Television
1. American Horror Story - Season 1 (jury is still out on Season 2)
2. Walking Dead
3. Munsters
4. Adamms Family
5. Lost (it was kind of a nightmare....right?)
6. Dead Like Me
7. Six Feat Under
8. Pushing Up Daisies
9. Days of our Lives (exorcisms, witches, devils...all wrapped up in a daytime soap. Genius!)

Update

-Ran just over 6 miles. Not the 8 I'd had in mind but I'm happy, and tired, just the same. 12:26 pace - I blame it on the breeze and new route. :-) Really not concerned at all about pace/speed/winning. My big win is just finishing and LOVING it. I dream about running. Seriously. It's getting weird...

-Since there will be hoardes of chilluns at my door tomorrow night begging for wrapped & branded sugar, I plan on doing a short bike tomorrow morning. Short is the key word...dislike biking in the dark, but it cannot get any safer than New Town.

-I have many friends in NYC who I'm praying for right now. No word in a while, so assuming their power is out and they're conserving batteries. Looks like a disaster area. NYC is resilient, as are its inhabitants. Still, sending good thoughts.

-My heat is working again...H to the Y! Minor fix, not "user error" so I'm a happy girl.

- Special shout out to my fellow LU alum Kari Shea Stopp and her lovely Charlotte Stopp for rescuing two wayward mutts. I'm happy to know people with such huge, warm hearts.

- Big team meeting tomorrow. Anticipating some potential shake-ups, due to growth and some folks leaving/repositioning. Not worried, but curious to see in what way we'll be growing and moving.

- SO looking forward to the Spits/Off! show this Thursday. Decent venue, lots of friends going. Bunch of old, crusty punkers we are. Life is good.

- I still reach for the phone to call my grandma. Not every day, but at least a couple times a week. Wonder if this will ever go away? Part of me hopes it won't. It's a bittersweet reminder...

- My dog is in dire need of a haircut. He's got what I can his "homeless man" look. Case in point, the pic above.

Listing...

...as in making a list. No, I'm not on the side of a downtrodden, wave-beaten vessel attempting to navigate the harshness of Hurricane Sandy, or whatever it's been downgraded to...

I have been questioning something for quite a while now. It's a choice I made, many years ago, and I continued on the pathway that choice initially set me on.

There comes a time when you must ask yourself why you make the choices you do, and why you stick around for something that might in fact be holding you back. Or rather, allow yourself to be held back because, let's face it, the holding back comes from within 99.9% of the time.

Now, I'm a short-term list maker. I'll make a list at the beginning and end of the day with To Do items on it. I typically don't list out past 24 hours. Life can get messy, the list can get mangled, and that can become frustrating. So I make nibble lists. Easy to digest and discard.

I spelled out my original choice at the top of a piece of paper, and then just let flow. I came up with many questions related to the choice and the path, and found many answers that were at first a little tough to swallow, and eventually became enlightening:

1. Why did I originally make this choice? (fears, hopes, goals, insecurities, etc.)
2. What good has come of it?
3. What have the negative results been?
4. What do I gain from veering from the path? (forward motion, peace, perspective)
5. What can change for me if I move forward? (personal, professional, health, spirit)
6. What would I tell someone in my shoes who made this same choice and kept on the path for so long?

You can't change the past, but you can take steps to ensure you don't make the same choice again. Well, there's that small word with ginormous impact - choice. We all have choices to make, whether it's deciding to taste a new food, sleeping in an extra ten minutes, taking the long road home for the view or letting go of a past hurt in order to heal.

So take time to regard the situation and check in with yourself before you make a move that could be detrimental down the line. Know who you are, what you need, what you're willing to give up, and what you're okay with giving in to. And don't forget to make a list.

On a lighter note, I'm aiming for an 8-miler tonight. Tune in tomorrow for a recap of how that little adventure goes. :-)  And I promise the there will be some fun posts coming up - I've got a good concert lined up this week, and some weekend fun as well. Pics and replay coming your way...

Simple lessons learned the hard way...

One of the few positive things that have come from the different types of loss I’ve experienced this year is how my outlook on some things have changed. I won't say I'm 100% in any of these, but getting there...

Do not trouble yourself with that which cannot be controlled.

I used to sweat the small stuff. Bigtime. Someone once pointed out to me how often I would ask them “What’s wrong?”…nothing was ever wrong with them, but the question came from within. My worry would take over – were they mad at me? Did I do something wrong? Said something I shouldn’t have? I don’t do this any longer. The one thing I know I can control is how I react to things - stress, goodness, pain, indifference. I work to remember this as much as possible.

Take time to live in the moment.

This is a big one. I find that I remind myself to stop, slow down, and let the moment sink in. I talk to my dog a lot – he likes this, and I enjoy watching his little face wait for words that he recognizes like "walk" and "Busy Bone" and "toy." I play with him more often also - it's such a joy to watch him leap into the air to grab a sqeaky toy! I also stop to take in the amazing sights, sounds and smells in nature – cloud formations, the sounds leaves make when gently rustled by the wind, the fragrance of a freshly rained-on sidewalk. I take the time to put more thought into email replies, conversations and letters. And most importantly, I am taking more time for myself and those whom I love. I’m not into living it out…I’m into living for the now.

Let go of the pain.

Owning the pain and experiencing it is important. It makes you feel alive, and it’s a large part of the healing process. If you ignore it, it will come back. If you push it aside, it will sneak back in. Take ownership of it, let it run its course and then let it go. And don’t be fooled into thinking that there is a time limit – pain, whatever the cause and however great or slight, will remain as long as you need it to and will move on when you’re ready.

Be good to yourself.

Not just a Journey song, but so very true. Your life is a gift. Whatever brain power, health, and attributes you have, embrace them and empower them. The better you are to yourself, the more you can give back to others.

Forgive.

This applies to yourself and others. Holding onto hurt is just another way to hold yourself back. Shit happens – usually it’s not meant out of malice. If it is, then that person needs your forgiveness even more. Now, this doesn’t mean you should keep them in your life. Some people aren’t good to have around. Whatever the case, wish them well, wish yourself well, and move on.

Move forward.

Do this however you can – small or momentous. Every little bit makes a difference. Looking back is fine, as it gives you perspective on how far you’ve come. But don’t let your gaze linger too long, or it will trip you up.

What lovely caress....

These bands/songs are hot on my playlist at the moment:
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Clink, clink, clink....Warriors.....come out and play-ay....

On the nights I get my herr did, at the fabulous Bouffant Daddy salon in Maplewood, I stop by Kakao for a bit of extra dark chocolate w/sea salt.

So late last night, while winding down and catching up on some Tivo’d shows, I broke out the chocolate and had a tiny bit.

Let it be known that if I eat anything past 7:00 pm it usually leads to vivid dreams.

Last night was no exception.

My first dream took me back to college, and my ex bf/future husband was there, as was Maggie, the dog we adopted together. She’s since passed on, and it was very bittersweet to see her. And somewhat bittersweet to see the ex….those were good times.

Then I woke up about 1:30, laid there, tossed and turned, and finally fell back asleep.

My second dream was very detailed. I was in the movie The Warriors, and I was an extra Lizzie. The Lizzies were a girl gang, all fros and tough-sexy. So the dream consisted of me running around with the girl gang, chasing the Warriors among the dark  and dirty NYC streets. There was steam sifting up from manholes and streetlights and it was damp and a little chilly. I was wearing this pink, satin rollerskating jacket I used to have back in gradeschool, jeans and boots. My hair was frizzed out, and I had a bandana around my neck.

Too vivid, I’m telling ya.

It was a fun dream – I feel like I ran the entire time.

I’m wondering what effect dark chocolate w/pepper would have…might try it soon.

Here is a clip of the Lizzies vs Warriors, so you can visualize me in the scene:

Below is my FAVORITE clip of all time....super creepy, classic:

More joy...unintentional and kilted

My colleague told me of a site where you could download motivational mp3 files for sports and such. http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/  She said a few of them had helped her with her sports technique.

I went ahead and checked out the site, and found what I thought might be a good choice – "Keep Running, Endurance."

At $12, it was worth it to me to try it. There wasn’t a preview, however, so I was going into this blind (or deaf, as the case would be). I’m pretty particular about my voices. I’ve used YouTube for relaxation videos and sometimes the presenter’s voice just didn’t get me there – they were either too grating, weird, soft, creepy. You get the picture.

I listened to the audio file last night after my run…wanted to give it my full attention and process it before I actually used it.

Before I disclose what took place, I need to preface it with a little-known fact. I dig accents. British, Irish, Australian, Lebanese…I like ‘em all. But there’s one that sends me over the moon. Gets my heart all a’twitter and weak in the knees.

Scottish.

I have no idea why. No rhyme or reason to it. Some things you just gotta embrace. :-)

So, can you guess where this is going?

Well, the mp3 started up, and a soothing male voice began to speak. Softly, melodically and WITH A SCOTTISH ACCENT.

Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh my. My oh my.

I nearly melted into the couch.  It was fantastic! What a great surprise to listen to while I cooled down from the run.

A friend came over last night and I played it for him - I believe in sharing the joy. He got a good laugh when I told him I may be unable to run directly after listening to the audio file as I may need some recovery time.

I’m in heaven. Running just got even better.

The therapist who recorded it is named Roger Elliott. He has numerous recordings on the site, and I highly recommend him as his voice is very soothing, and the script he uses is motivational, grounded and natural.

The joy of running

I only learned this a month ago.

I've been known to be a late bloomer in some things. :-)

I’ve been running, on and off, since high school.

It’s never been anything I enjoyed. At all.

Sprints were okay, as were hurdles. Long distance? Bleh - not my cup of tea, but I did it to help stay in shape and because my friends were in track. And I did it with intense hatred.

I've had a special mantra in my head, reserved for long runs.

“I f*cking hate this.” Sometimes it varied. "This sucks."

Not sure where it came from, or how it developed, but I’ve always had a hate-hate relationship with running. I approached it in a half-assed, grudging way, and it did the same for me in return.

If there's anything I've learned throughout my life, it's that you can control how you react to something or someone, and this is a powerful thing. Your state of mind can make all the difference.

I’ve been taking a certification course in hypnotherapy. No, it’s not hypnosis, we don't use watches or trick people into acting like a chicken. It's more of a deeply relaxed state so that a client can work through issues such as phobias, trauma, pain, grief, and sports performance.

All the demonstrations I saw in class and had experienced first-hand as a demo subject made me a believer. If you’re open to it, and the therapist is patient and skilled, you can accomplish much through hypnotherapy. Might sound hokey (it did to me the first time I sat in class), so I get it if you’re reading this going “ah, yeah..whatever”.  But it does have it’s benefits.

So back to my tale of kick-ass. One evening ;ast month, as I was preparing for a run, I decided to employ some of the deep relaxation techniques used in hypnotherapy on myself while doing a short pre-run stretch. It was kind of on a whim, just popped in my head as I was lacing up my right shoe. What the hell, I thought, I had nothing to lose. I'm certain it helped to approach it with a very laid-back, open attitude.

I don’t remember much, but what I do recall doing was mapping out my run in my head (3.2 miles, door to door, to my mom’s house and back), deciding that I would not stop at all, but rather slow down to a comfortable pace to overcome whatever might be ailing me, and to find small “goals” throughout, such as working on a negative split and improving my time by a minimum of 10 seconds.

Nothing too complicated. And again, approaching it in a way that it felt very basic, unencumbered and light probably helped. I uncomplicated it. :-)

Then, on a whim, I decided to add balance to the run. I’m big on balance, and I decided to listen to that part of myself in this situation. I usually run with my inhaler in one hand, rarely used, but it helps me feel comfortable. So what I did was find something equal in size and shape to hold in the other hand. My little can of mace fit the bill. I didn't think I'd need to use it, but this way I felt even, balanced.

And here’s what happened….

I completed the run at a good pace, with a negative split, and didn’t slow down or stop.

It didn't feel effortless, but it felt fantastic.

I arrived home feeling euphoric – runners high? Maybe. I don’t need to label it – whatever it was rocked.

But most importantly, I never once had a negative thought in my head. I waited for it, as it was the norm. All I thought about was how great running felt. Everything – the pace, the night sky, the smells of autumn.

Since then, I haven’t looked back. I want to run every day, and have to stop myself from doing so. I run every other day, and after each run I start planning out my next one. I missed a day due to travel recently, and it made me feel off-kilter.

So while I’ve run on and off throughout my life, I never considered myself a runner.

I do now.

And after a shit year, finally having a few things come together feels like a thousand blessings.

Update: Just finished a 6 mile run. 11:43 average pace. Very happy with that. Now for a hot shower, some good conversation, maybe a little wine and some foot reflexology.

I had

a wonderful run tonight. Everything clicked.

The weather was on the warm side, around 76, but the neighborhood was still, peaceful, and smelled great...woody, green, dusty.

I got into such a zone that I missed my turn and didn't realize until I was about three blocks down. So I took the next turn and explored a bit of the hood I wasn't familiar with.

It was a nice and easy run until the last half mile, which I busted out a bit faster.

Overall pace was 11:06.

I almost feel like putting my shoes back on for an encore.

Do I dare...

Taking stock

I had been working on a recap of my very eventful weekend, but I feel this is more important to start off the week with.

I just received an email from a coworker. She’d gotten into an auto accident over the weekend and wanted to let us all know she was okay. She was driving her small VW and it was hit by a semi. She flipped over on the highway.

The pics were frightening.

She went on to say that she feels she has a second chance at life, and cannot begin to express her gratitude.

I am so thankful that she’s okay – she’s a very unique and special person, and I personally feel grateful that she’ll be around so I can keep getting to know her. She’s a professional, giving and inspirational gal and makes coming to the office all the more fun.

It’s this kind of thing that puts life into perspective. It makes you take stock of what you have, pay more attention to what you don’t, and put plans into motion to hold onto what’s dear and go after what you want.

I'm already doing this, in many ways, but her situation has renewed my intent.

It's going to be a good week.

Cricket conspiracy...

Tonight's run was fraught with....hilarity.

I drafted for about a half mile behind my neighbor, who was pushing his kid in a jogging stroller. I ended up increasing my pace just a bit in order to keep up. That I enjoyed.

After he went his separate way, I dodged loose gravel, small and large piles, at the end of the subdivision that's undergoing major buildout. Couldn't really get in a groove, and it felt more like a trail run than road. Still fun.

Once I turned down my mom's street, which has more empty lots than houses, I swear I had to dodge random crickets who were not hopping to the left or right to get out of my way, but rather just ahead of where my feet were going. This happened with three crickets, one right after another. It was like a conspiracy to throw me off - the cricket community launched a full-scale attack on my pace. I managed to keep moving, in a straight line, and didn't smush a one. Yay me. Lucky crickets.

On my way back home, my right foot started to go numb. Ha! I was wearing newer shoes, so this was my fault. I didn't want to stop and relace, so I pushed through the ever-growing deadening of my foot. Weird feeling, but it didn't stop me from pushing on.

And finally, when I rounded the corner and started down the long drag down the lake towards the fountain by my house, a four-seater pedal kart with headlights passed me on my left with four people chatting away. I've seen this before, as well as golf carts and those odd-looking elliptical cycle.

I made it home, pace was 11:13. Not too bad. I'm happy with that.

Taking the mountain bike out tomorrow after work for a group ride. Glad my new cold weather cycling gear was delivered today (jacket, tights, shoe covers and baclava) 'cause it's gonna be on the chilly side tomorrow (low 50's).

Hot shower is calling. Gonna go answer it.

Whacked upside the soul.

The title may be misleading.

Just when I had given up on 2012 producing any kind of respite, I am suddenly, happily, knocked out of my sodden, stumbling emotional stupor and thrown into the bliss-full backseat of forward motion.

I'm ravishing my breakthroughs much like a 17th century lover who's been held captive in a dungeon, strapped to The Machine and ebbed of lifeflow by a sadistic Prince Humperdink only to be rescued by Inigo Montoya, but in this case Prince Humperdink has a serious case of nasty gaptooth, leftover/unintelligent ancestral-speak and a penchant for misspellings and sad rant.

Life embraces, and I'm huggin it back and planting sloppy, wet kisses all over it's pretty face.

Flowery & meandering prose aside, here are a few things I'm looking forward to or in the midst of:

1. The omnipresence of all things autumn. It's here, I'm in it, so ain't nuttin gettin' me down, suckas.

2. Cardinal playoffs. Especially after a trouncing.

3. Cabining, when I get to makeout with trees, float my 'yak, and roast various sundries over a crackling fire.

4. This band:


5. The new installment of Paranormal Activity - #4.


6. This concert:




7. Cold-weather riding and running.

8. Upcoming trips to NYC, Baltimore, Chitown and TBD.

9. Outstanding time spent with friends.

10. This:

Ahh....

One of the great things about living so close to family is that they can cheer me on when I work out.

I had some free time tonight, so I went for a nice and easy run after mowing the lawn.

I called my mom when I was passing her house, and she waved me on.

My time wasn't great - I ran just over 3 miles with an average of 10:34 per mile. But it felt really nice to be out in the slightly cool, dark evening in my safe little hood.

I just downed a delish USANA chocolate shake with a banana.

Some days, it's the big things that get you down or motivate you.

On others, it's the little things.

Tonight it was a combination of both.

I'll take it...with a smile.